The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
