return my video game
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
