i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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