I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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