Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
