I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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