If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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