worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
