Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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