My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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