Sry I called you an 8
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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