So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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