I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
