i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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