It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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