guess who came home with a hottie last night
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again