I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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