I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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