$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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