I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
