yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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