I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
