Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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