I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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