Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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