I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
