Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Randomize
