Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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