Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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(403): you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion. http://tfl.nu/ldji

Replies (16) Good night (6862) Bad night (732)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON

(651): View more from Minnesota

clearly you have your priorities straight

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(612): just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON (651): clearly you have your priorities straight http://tfl.nu/87z9

Replies (68) Good night (4628) Bad night (1287)
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(707): View more from California

the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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(707): the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him. http://tfl.nu/x6kf

Replies (43) Good night (5131) Bad night (1832)
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(316): View more from Kansas

She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....

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(316): She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar.... http://tfl.nu/1ee9

Replies (15) Good night (1178) Bad night (5174)
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(805): View more from California

The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

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(805): The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break http://tfl.nu/smih

Replies (3) Good night (2844) Bad night (835)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.

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(503): I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/iho1

Replies (19) Good night (3499) Bad night (994)
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(310): View more from California

Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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(310): Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god" http://tfl.nu/2xo4

Replies (10) Good night (4413) Bad night (902)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.

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(847): He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited. http://tfl.nu/2tlf

Replies (20) Good night (6905) Bad night (908)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"

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(501): I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d" http://tfl.nu/qasx

Replies (7) Good night (2968) Bad night (740)
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(519): View more from Ontario

There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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(519): There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause. http://tfl.nu/1uor

Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (702)
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(530): View more from California

red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.

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(530): red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song. http://tfl.nu/0nv8

Replies (10) Good night (2158) Bad night (659)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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(443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0

Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (528)
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(678): View more from Georgia

After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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(678): After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box". http://tfl.nu/z4mv

Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (453)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.

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(919): We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad. http://tfl.nu/qk8s

Replies (6) Good night (1839) Bad night (360)
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(303): View more from Colorado

There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.

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(303): There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade. http://tfl.nu/4krw

Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (502)

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