Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm coming over.

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  (281): I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay. (713): I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/32wi
  Replies (30) Good night (4063) Bad night (1066)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?

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  (631): Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"? http://tfl.nu/0zdv
  Replies (29) Good night (5167) Bad night (1704)
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  (805): View more from California

  Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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  (805): Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order. http://tfl.nu/u5vw
  Replies (16) Good night (3910) Bad night (666)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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  (864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2
  Replies (30) Good night (5833) Bad night (1173)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned

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  (607): Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned http://tfl.nu/r5xe
  Replies (6) Good night (956) Bad night (4828)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

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  (440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3
  Replies (24) Good night (1916) Bad night (6740)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.

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  (703): You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist. http://tfl.nu/4hjw
  Replies (4) Good night (977) Bad night (3796)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs

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  (516): i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs http://tfl.nu/7d0f
  Replies (6) Good night (2571) Bad night (1034)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1699) Bad night (2562)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."

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  (828): after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...." http://tfl.nu/7e08
  Replies (16) Good night (3142) Bad night (808)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

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  (803): i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;) (1-803): Did you watch the carolina game tonight? http://tfl.nu/ae37
  Replies (18) Good night (2313) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.

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  (517): It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals. http://tfl.nu/8hcd
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.

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  (843): I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning. http://tfl.nu/842q
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (305)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.

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  (651): I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college. http://tfl.nu/1zaq
  Replies (4) Good night (463) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?

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  (419): Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything? http://tfl.nu/kqjd
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (273)

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