I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.