I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans