"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD