i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize