Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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