You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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