Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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