I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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