We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
