Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
