I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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