how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
