hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
