I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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