I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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