recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
