just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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