do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
