Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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