Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I supernannyed him into submission
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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