brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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