This girl is more easily done than said...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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