I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
