If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i dont even know how to be here
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My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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