god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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