I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
