Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
