yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
