Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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