very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude. I can hear the air.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
