So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
