Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
All the doctor said was why
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
