it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My brain says no but my pants say off.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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